Cracklin' Oat Bran

As you stroll through the aisles of your local grocery store you may find yourself wandering down the cereal aisle. I spend a lot of time in this aisle. When you have little kids at home, having cereal on hand is nothing but a necessity.
I overlook the cereals on the bottom and middle shelves normally reserved for kids, and look straight to the top shelf where the “healthy” adult cereals are. As luck would have it, my favorite cereal on the planet is Cracklin’ Oat Bran. And there it is, rubbing box corners with the likes of Kashi and Special K.



It’s an amazing coincidence that my favorite cereal happens to be on the “healthy” shelf. After all, lately I’ve been trying to eat better. You know, cut out the sweets, a strict no soda/energy drink kinda diet. I’ve also been trying tactics like eating, “moderate portions” and stopping when you’re full. I’ve always been under the assumption these strategies were myths, and frankly, reserved for bean poles. It turns out I enjoy depriving my growling belly in the middle of the day.
Anyway, I buy the cereal. However, I don’t eat it at breakfast. In my eyes, cereal is more of a snack then a meal. Well, I guess that depends on the size of the bowl but remember I’m eating moderate portions now, so it’s a snack. So, I usually end up eating it as a snack in the evening. More like a midnight snack while Becka and I are playing a no holds barred game of Yahtzee.
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Side Note: My once dominant Yahtzee skills have diminished. Becka inaudibly reminds me of this every time she rolls a yahtzee, while my scorecard is littered with blanks and low numbers. I try to pump myself up by changing my name on the scorecard. I use names like, “Yahtzee Master” and “King Yahtzee” but these names have little positive effect for me. One time, when I was feeling a bit down, I used the name “Jeremy the Mediocre” and won the game by a hefty margin. Go figure.

So now I take my first bite of my treasured Cracklin’ Oat Bran. As always, it takes me back to being a 10 year old when I tried this delicious cereal for the first time. There I was, a husky 5th grader enjoying an adult cereal. Clearly, it’s good for you; I mean it’s on the top shelf right? Turns out, not so much. Although, Cracklin' Oat Bran is delicious, it's loaded with saturated fat and sugar. Being a little older than 10 years old, the ingredients that give this cereal it's awesome taste results in me running in a sweaty panic to the bathroom. This did not become clear to me until just a few days ago. Cracklin' Oat Bran is my favorite cereal but I can't have it very often since it's about $30 per box...or maybe it's $5 for the puny box...either way, it's a lot of cabbage.

I'm sorry Cracklin' Oat Bran. I will have to leave you on the top shelf for a while. Your Oat Bran facade does not fool me anymore. Listen, I'm not above sugary cereals. They're the best kind. My belly and the toilet seat tells me I need to lay off the stuff for a while. I will obey my belly. I've discovered when it comes to food my stomach is much smarter then my brain. Cracklin' Oat Bran is not ousted from my clutches forever. Soon, I will pluck this unhealthy cereal off the top shelf and indulge. Then again, I'll be completing the cycle of running to the bathroom in a sweaty panic.